Tag Archives: sentience

“Fuck Putin” — a moral confection

Just the other day, God woke up from an interminable nap that seemed like hours, but really had begun roundabout the 3rd Century BCE, after God had popped just half of a Divine Tizanidine. . An angel came to collect the divine bedpan, which was full of chalcedony and sardonyx crystals. God asked the angel how things were going on Earth. . “Um.” The angel scuttled out of the Holy of Holies bed chamber. “Oh boy, better find Gabriel!” . By the time Gabriel received the news that the Omnipresent One had awakened, it was a bit too late. A roar unlike a roar—more an infinite cacophony of pissed-offedness—tore the fabric of space-time, and even unspace-untime. . Those with spiritually discerning ears the Universe over heard what sounded like “What the fuck!!!!” in all mortal and immortal tongues. . “Oh boy,” said Gabriel, who booked a quick flight to a Universe several dimensions over and which was known for its lovely cabanas and tasty liqueurs. . The reason God yawlped such an Almighty yawlp was simple: human beings, who had been vested with a quasi-Imago Dei—via a very unique Evolutionary…

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