“Oh, they’ve encased him in carbonite.
He should be quite well protected.
If he survived the freezing process, that is.”
and so it goes
Arik Bjorn awoke one morning from Waking Dreams (plus Long COVID) and found himself in bed.
There was also a bear just sitting there, beside his bed. A friendly bear. Think Winnie the Pooh or Baloo. Or maybe Grizzly Adams.
They had a conversation.
Arik said, “I’m free of the carbonite.”
Bear wiped sweat from his buddy’s brow. “Go easy on yourself. You’ve got hibernation sickness.”
“It’s like I just came out of the basement after a tornado.”
“Vonnegut felt the same way. Only, there were a lot of bombs.”
“Everything is gone. Nearly everyone I loved.”
“People are going to be confused by this dialogue thing. When is it you, when is it me?”
“Isn’t it both?”
“I suppose.”
“I mean it. I lost everything. But it’s the everyone that really hurts.”
“What did you gain?”
“Enlightenment.”
“Don’t talk like a mystic.”
“Fair. How long did the storm last?”
“About 53 years. But the carbon freeze? Five years. The last two were godawful. Don’t even go there.”
“I have so much to say.”
“Said no enlightened person ever.”
“I suppose. When I reach out to nearly all of them, the silence is like a death. No, more a funeral.”
“You scared the shit out of folks. Hell, several police departments track you now. Maybe a federal agency or two.”
“But I wasn’t me.”
“And how are they supposed to know?”
Arik sighed.
“That’s the thing about illness. Throw in Autism. It packs a punch.”
“You threw a few.”
“Honestly, I didn’t. I still can’t feel the left side of my face. Can’t even smile. Or whistle. Drinking with a straw is hard too.”
“Well, true. You never hit back. What about your words?”
“Yeah. The things I said. You know it’s Autism. Uncensored mind. Unbridled by Chronic Insomnia and Brain Fog. But not anymore.”
“Doctors understand that. Ordinary folks, not so much.”
“I know.”
Arik stretched his fingers, worked them a bit.
“I was on the verge of recovery. Then Jojo vanished. Then the skull fractures. Then the blood clots. Lost the play too.”
Bear touched his friend’s shoulder. “It’s a long list. They don’t need to read it all.”
“But I’m here now. I mean, the storm is over.”
“What do you know of storms?”
“It’s like a fire in the woods. On the plains. It cleanses as much as it destroys.”
“What was destroyed?”
“Literal things. Money, stuff. But far more: so many loves.”
“Maybe they weren’t love.”
“The things were things. How is love different?”
Bear wiped his buddy’s brow again.
“For you, love is different. You’re able to forgive and forget instantly. It’s not just your conditions—it’s the trauma. It created something, let us call it, unique. Remember what Alex said. ‘You forgive too easily.’ She said this while bashing your head in with insults and body shaming. But. She was trying to teach you a survival skill.”
“I still love her, though. But. I think I learned the lesson. I learned how not to take people back. How not to take anyone in until they’ve earned it.”
“Have you really?”
“Time tells, I guess. At least I see it now. I didn’t before.”
“Hmm.”
“Where do I go from here?”
“Let’s try this approach. What do you still have?”
“Loki and Porridge. Mom. Five friends who refused to give up on me. My place, some stuff. A new roommate who I trust. Hank—vroom! My bus job. But most importantly, peace in here.”
Arik pointed to his head. Bear repeated the gesture with kindness.
“Describe the peace. But, I mean, keep it short. Readers aren’t into Joyce much anymore.”
“It took a year to recover from five years of sleep deprivation. And just when I was nearly recovered, that’s when JoJo, the skull fractures, the blood clots and so much more happened. And it just bugs the crap out of me that the average person has no idea what Chronic Insomnia even means. And mine is Cataplexy. Seriously, Waking Dreams are very little understood—”
Bear cleared his throat. “Reminder. Short.”
“K.”
Arik took a breath.
“Silence. Finally. I’m okay with it.”
“Now that’s a bear in the woods.”
“I don’t need everyone, or even anyone, to hear me anymore. I understand that my light shines a bit bright. That most folks don’t really understand Autism.”
“Let’s just keep it there.”
Arik and Bear did just that. They sat silently and watched a few reels on Facebook. Conan is really funny.
“It will take time, won’t it?”
“For what?”
“I mean, I still believe redemption is everything.”
Bear thought.
“Arik, you need to realize this. They are gone. All of them. The storm was real. It destroyed everything. They aren’t coming back.”
“All of them?”
“You have to live the rest of your life like that.”
“Let go of hope?”
“No. But don’t let Hope sit behind the wheel.”
“Ah.”
“Just live life. “
There was a pause. (And paws.)
“Buddy. You’re almost there.”
“But I miss them so.”
“Hmm.” Bear thought. “In moments like that, perhaps honor the memories that were good with them all. Those are genuine.”
“I have pages and pages more to say. About Alex, Jojo, Candy. My daughter. All the others.”
“That’s how your mind works. The world doesn’t need to see that. Can’t even, really. Put your energy somewhere else. You already put it into this book.”
“I get it. Maybe acting. Gardening. Volunteering. Taking photos. Feeding pigeons.”
“Your mind is—well, it’s been to Dresden and back. Do you honestly want anyone else to experience that?”
“Oh. Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“No, Bear. I do not.”
“I’ll give you one last thing to say.”
“Then I better say it.”
“Perhaps you already did.”
And then there was a big bear hug. The rest will just take time. See you there.
“This is Bear. Arik just wanted everyone to know, it hurt. A lot. He’s sorry for anything he said or did. Autism is real. Illness is real. But so is healing. And recovery.”
xxx
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“BRONX NIGHTS” has been unleashed 🦖 on Amazon as a paperback and ebook!
To read all “BRONX NIGHTS” excerpts in order, click this link.
To listen to Arik Bjorn read excerpts from “BRONX NIGHTS,” visit his YouTube Page.
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All of the names have been changed, except for mine, and, you know, ones like Yo-Ya Ma, Nina Simone, etc.
BRONX NIGHTS by ARIK BJORN
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